My hair barely made it to the second round of chemo. Thursday, July 25 I was able to go to chemo with hair even though it had started to come out when I combed it that morning. However, Friday morning in the shower as I wet it and ran my hands over the top, I had a fistful of hair left behind. Friday at 10:30am I got my head shaved. I had read a blog entry from another woman with breast cancer who said nothing can prepare you to lose your hair. She was correct - as much preparation as I had done in buying scarves and caps for when my time would come, I was still not prepared and it was indeed a shock.
Since then, I have been trying to experiment with scarves as the thought of a wig in August just sounds horrible to me. Some scarves have worked, and others have failed. I find the non-slippery, long, rectangular head scarves to be easier to tie around my "Uncle Fester" looking head! I highly recommend having a fabric cap for the days you just don't want to deal with tying a head scarf; they are easy to pull on and go. Put on a pair of dangle earrings, some lip gloss and it's a quick out-the-door look.
One thing I have resented more than anything has been losing my hair. My secret is now out. When I had hair, no one knew I was sick to look at me, and that was fine; it was normalcy for the time being and I knew what would eventually come. Another resentment I have was a coworker who posted a picture of me and her, both in headscarves as she was being supportive of my cause, to her Facebook page and she tagged me. Ouch! When she asked me if she could have a picture, I had no idea she would post it in such a public fashion. I was absolutely horrified to see the photo of me in my cap on Friday - the first day I didn't have hair and before I could get used to wearing a cap - show up on my Facebook page when I had not yet gone public to all my friends and even some family members. Well, that certainly took my secret and put it out there for the world to see in a way I wasn't prepared and didn't authorize. I understand she did it out of support, but I would caution and urge everyone - please ASK someone if you can OUT them on such a social forum before doing so. By the time I realized she had posted the photo and tagged me, too many people had already seen and liked the photo for me to feel like I could request it taken down. I feel violated to this day. This is MY news to share with the world or whomever I damn well pleased - not anyone else's.
Lesson learned......no photos!
