I am fortunate my local cancer center offers a few support
groups for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers. I have participated in
the nighttime support group for all cancer patients for just over a year and have
found it to be very beneficial and which I urge others to consider and try. I
understand the idea of a support group may be intimidating or it does not appeal
to everyone. There are also some who feel uncomfortable at the idea of attending
a support group. However, if you are open minded and open to a new experience
then I urge you to give it a try; even if you only attend one meeting, at least
you went and experienced it. And keep in mind not all support groups are the
same. If you attend a group and are not sure you like it, attend another group!
In addition to my center’s nighttime support group for all cancer survivors,
they also offer a daytime session for only women. If I felt the nighttime group
wasn’t a good fit for me, I could try out the daytime session.
I remember my first meeting. I wanted to meet someone in
treatment or who already had been, to ask what I should be prepared for. For
me, attending the meeting was my way of connecting and networking with other survivors.
At the time, I was recovering from a unilateral mastectomy and waiting to begin
chemotherapy with radiation to follow eventually. My first meeting was small,
only three other people; a couple, one woman and I. The second meeting, there
were a few more people, and I was surprised to learn one women was an 11-year
survivor.
I continued to attend the nighttime support group through
the first part of chemo until I became too fatigued from treatment, and the
side effects became too much. One of the last meetings I attended was in
October 2013 when a few of my fingernails had lifted off their nail bed, a
horrible side effect from Taxol. At that time I would put a piece of gauze across
my fingertip and nail, and wrap the stretchy brown coban wrap around the gauze
and my fingers, just to hold the nail in place to function. Typing was nearly
impossible which is my job.
I returned to the support group after a few months off as a
way to reconnect and now share the experiences I had over the past year. While
I am not happy anyone needs to attend a cancer support group, I am happy when a
new member joins us so I can hear their story and hopefully impart a little of
my wisdom. A few new faces have joined our group and I hope us veteran
attendees help them feel normal in a situation that is anything but at times. I
also believe a support group is what you make of it. Be sure to participate and
ask questions. No question or topic is dumb.
And finally, I personally believe a good support group has
the following qualities:
·
Led by a professional counselor who enforces a
set of “rules” each participant must abide by
·
Rules may include, but may not be limited to:
o
Confidentiality-participants should not disclose
discussion within the group with others outside the group. Don’t go to work and
share the stories and/or information about the other patients
o
Everyone is allowed an opportunity to share
their feelings/experiences. One person should not dominate the conversation.
o
No interrupting-one person should talk at a time
o
No judgment of others, no laughing or making fun
of their feelings, experiences, etc.
·
The leader should allow for introductions at the
beginning of the meeting. This can be as simple as first name and how long you
have been a survivor/caretaker to include as much information as the person is
comfortable sharing.
·
Participants should be encouraged to share and
participate, but not forced to speak. This can be an intimidating experience
and the first time they may want to observe more than speak. Respect this and
let them know it’s ok to participate or just listen to the other members.
·
The group should have light snacks/refreshments.
Food provides comfort and is an excellent way to break the ice between persons.
Make it simple: a vegetable tray, cookies and bottled water are plenty.
