This past week has been pretty rough. My bone pain was pretty strong on Sunday and Monday, and my mom ended up informing my doctor about it (as she works in the cancer center) and my doctor prescribed stronger pain pills which have seemed to help. Over the weekend, my left middle finger started to swell and the nail looked like it was raising. By Sunday, my finger was turning black around the nail and it looked like I had closed my finger in a car door. I call it my "Halloween Finger" as its black and gnarly looking and, well... just in time for Halloween! I could seriously scare the crap out of some people with it. Monday I noticed the fingernail on my first finger on my right hand was coming lose on one side. Denial was working well for me and I was trying to be gentle with it so as not to lose it; that thought just creeps me out. I don't do well with fingernails and eyeballs - they gross me out when there are problems with either of those! Mom and I were so concerned about my middle finger possibly being infected that I was able to get an appointment with the on-call oncologist Tuesday, October 22 and have it looked at. Just before I was walking out of work to go to the appointment, I was fussing with my wallet and I'm still not sure exactly how it happened - but my finger slipped and my nail caught and ripped, and almost all of it came off my right pointer/index finger. I was in soooooo much pain. It seriously took my breath away for a few moments and I was sobbing in my office. I eventually composed myself enough to grab a Kleenex and some tape from my desk and wrap my fingernail so I could leave to drive myself to the clinic for my appointment. I cried almost the entire way there from the pain and also a little frustration of having crappy nails that are falling apart! The good news is that my middle finger was/is not infected. The bad news is that the finger is scary and that's the result of Taxol. Just one of the side effects I'll have to live with for now.
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