Support Groups

I am fortunate my local cancer center offers a few support groups for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers. I have participated in the nighttime support group for all cancer patients for just over a year and have found it to be very beneficial and which I urge others to consider and try. I understand the idea of a support group may be intimidating or it does not appeal to everyone. There are also some who feel uncomfortable at the idea of attending a support group. However, if you are open minded and open to a new experience then I urge you to give it a try; even if you only attend one meeting, at least you went and experienced it. And keep in mind not all support groups are the same. If you attend a group and are not sure you like it, attend another group! In addition to my center’s nighttime support group for all cancer survivors, they also offer a daytime session for only women. If I felt the nighttime group wasn’t a good fit for me, I could try out the daytime session.

I remember my first meeting. I wanted to meet someone in treatment or who already had been, to ask what I should be prepared for. For me, attending the meeting was my way of connecting and networking with other survivors. At the time, I was recovering from a unilateral mastectomy and waiting to begin chemotherapy with radiation to follow eventually. My first meeting was small, only three other people; a couple, one woman and I. The second meeting, there were a few more people, and I was surprised to learn one women was an 11-year survivor.

I continued to attend the nighttime support group through the first part of chemo until I became too fatigued from treatment, and the side effects became too much. One of the last meetings I attended was in October 2013 when a few of my fingernails had lifted off their nail bed, a horrible side effect from Taxol. At that time I would put a piece of gauze across my fingertip and nail, and wrap the stretchy brown coban wrap around the gauze and my fingers, just to hold the nail in place to function. Typing was nearly impossible which is my job.

I returned to the support group after a few months off as a way to reconnect and now share the experiences I had over the past year. While I am not happy anyone needs to attend a cancer support group, I am happy when a new member joins us so I can hear their story and hopefully impart a little of my wisdom. A few new faces have joined our group and I hope us veteran attendees help them feel normal in a situation that is anything but at times. I also believe a support group is what you make of it. Be sure to participate and ask questions. No question or topic is dumb.

And finally, I personally believe a good support group has the following qualities:

·         Led by a professional counselor who enforces a set of “rules” each participant must abide by

·         Rules may include, but may not be limited to:

o   Confidentiality-participants should not disclose discussion within the group with others outside the group. Don’t go to work and share the stories and/or information about the other patients

o   Everyone is allowed an opportunity to share their feelings/experiences. One person should not dominate the conversation.

o   No interrupting-one person should talk at a time

o   No judgment of others, no laughing or making fun of their feelings, experiences, etc.

·         The leader should allow for introductions at the beginning of the meeting. This can be as simple as first name and how long you have been a survivor/caretaker to include as much information as the person is comfortable sharing.

·         Participants should be encouraged to share and participate, but not forced to speak. This can be an intimidating experience and the first time they may want to observe more than speak. Respect this and let them know it’s ok to participate or just listen to the other members.

·         The group should have light snacks/refreshments. Food provides comfort and is an excellent way to break the ice between persons. Make it simple: a vegetable tray, cookies and bottled water are plenty.